Communication is a funny thing. People tell stories, ask questions, and give responses, and we just assume that the people we're communicating with understand what we're trying to say, just as we assume we're saying it in a way so that they will. But are we really understanding each other? When we realize that there's been a misunderstanding, there's usually feelings of embarrassment and wondering if the other person trusts or even likes us anymore.
I had one such experience about a month ago. I called and talked to my Visiting Teaching companion because she knows the person better than I do, and I was curious as to know how to communicate with this sister better. She lovingly asked me a question that was posed to her when she was a teenager: "Are you really so self-centered as to think that the other person is thinking about nothing but you and this problem, which might not even be a problem in their eyes?" After some thought on my part, she asked me another question: "Are you really worried that she doesn't trust you anymore, or is it YOU who doesn't trust HER?" After some thought, I realized that it really was me who didn't trust her; I had heard this sister ask me things in a completely different way than she meant them, but the questions she asked me and how she asked them really did sound to me how I interpreted them. I felt like I couldn't trust how this sister asked questions.
Did I misunderstand how she was asking me questions, or was it really the way she asked? We may never know. All we can really do when miscommunication happens is analyze how we're feeling and realize that it might really be US and not THEM with the problem, the awkwardness, the embarrassment.
I had one such experience about a month ago. I called and talked to my Visiting Teaching companion because she knows the person better than I do, and I was curious as to know how to communicate with this sister better. She lovingly asked me a question that was posed to her when she was a teenager: "Are you really so self-centered as to think that the other person is thinking about nothing but you and this problem, which might not even be a problem in their eyes?" After some thought on my part, she asked me another question: "Are you really worried that she doesn't trust you anymore, or is it YOU who doesn't trust HER?" After some thought, I realized that it really was me who didn't trust her; I had heard this sister ask me things in a completely different way than she meant them, but the questions she asked me and how she asked them really did sound to me how I interpreted them. I felt like I couldn't trust how this sister asked questions.
Did I misunderstand how she was asking me questions, or was it really the way she asked? We may never know. All we can really do when miscommunication happens is analyze how we're feeling and realize that it might really be US and not THEM with the problem, the awkwardness, the embarrassment.
Speaking of Communication...just the other day I was told that I needed to communicate more. I have been thinking about it a bit and your post on communication makes total sense. I think that I am the problem with my lack of communication yet I always want to blame someone else.
ReplyDeletecommunication: I didn't know what your blog was tell you comment on mine. lol I'm now a new follower fyi. good communication skills for telling me about your blog. ha ha!
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